It’s happened. Call it inevitable; say what you want. The alternative was just too absurd. A Rockies batter who hits .220! Impossible. Can’t happen; can’t be true. This rondure turns, and we’re back to reality. Clint, the all-star sub. Clint, the Top 5 fantasy SS. Clint of the Rockies.

I remember owning Barmes after his collarbone-shortened breakout season. He was hitting .289/10/46 when he fell down the stairs, busted his clavicle, and thereupon ceased to be even a bad baseball player. He became the short kid with glasses and a plastic glove who hit 14th on your coach-pitch team. Clint Hurdle flew in Felipe Crespo from his Cibao rooster farm to pinch hit for Barmes. Things were that bad.

The next year, ‘06, Barmes was back in the lineup going .220/7/56 with a .264 OBP and a .335 SLG %. I don’t know if it’s been said, but that could easily be the worst season of any batsmen in the post-sock ball era. Forget that it happened in Colorado; this was a guy who hit .204 with the bases empty. So it wasn’t about pressure, it wasn’t about coming through in the clutch. It was about being so bad that pitchers wouldn’t walk him. Barmes was essentially a second pitcher. His 34:5 K:BB with the bases empty was a joke.

Then, in ‘07, he was worse. He played twenty-seven games for the Rockies, spending the rest of the year in AAA where he hit .299/11/44 over 428 at-bats. So at that point it looked like he was a AAAA player–not good enough for MLB, but too good for AAA. OK, that would have made sense. His ‘05 was a fluke; he was pulling a Fernando Tatis–good one year, bad the rest.

But people forgot one thing: He was still in Colorado. He was still playing in a park where Vinny Castilla was a .300/35 hitter. AAAA? Not in Coors.

This year Barmes is hitting .361. His home-road splits are simply amazing: .364 at Coors; .359 away. Three home runs at home; one on the road. His K rate: 6:5 at Coors; 8:2 on the road.

So he’s still been better at home. But he’s hitting on the road. Weird. Why? Because look at his career splits: .293 at home; .236 away.

Barmes turned twenty-nine on March 6, 2008, so he’s still young enough that this surge could be for real. And it’s not crazy to think he’ll get a little better. Maybe he really is a .300/15/80 hitter. Batting second, he could score 100 runs for the next five years. And playing second, those are some damn fine numbers.

Clint’s home SLG % is .456; his road number is .350. Coors makes him good. But take every advantage you can get, right? Last year Troy Tulowitzki slugged .393 on the road. At home: .568. That’s another joke. And if you find that stat funny, empty your mouth for a minute. Swallow your gum. Here’s another Troy split for you: .256-.326 road vs. home batting average.

Enough about Tulowitzki. At 6′0″, 210, Barmes has zero downside as long as he’s playing in Colorado. His 14:7 K:BB this year shows that he’s claimed Matsui’s spot at the top of the lineup. And, given his .397 OPB, it’s now his spot to lose.

And if that wasn’t enough, Barmes is in his walk year. So now he’s playing in Colorado, he’s hitting second, and he’s playing for a contract. That’s like drafting a peaking, circa-2001 Carlos Delgado in a season in which every AB is guaranteed to come against John Wasdin. Unless oil drops to a quarter/barrel and the sun eats Tim Allen’s Hummer, Barmes is going to be a huge win for every fantasy owner who hooks him through ‘08.

And if he’s playing in Colorado next year? Clint “The NL’s Ian Kinsler” Barmes.